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| So today is my first day off in a reallllly long time. I'm still getting used to the whole steady job thing, I've only had jobs with definite end dates before so....it's weird. Anywho, Ana had her baby two weeks early. She called from the hospital last Tuesday and told me the big news and I finally got down to Eagle Lake Saturday to see'em. It's a weird thing to your best friend, this person who it seems like you've known forever, with this new little person that's a part of them. My mind is still trying to register it. It was a nice visit though, even though I didn't get any of her moms famous tuna patties......I'll be back for those though.. And finally, after a month and a half of suspense I made it to Wharton and met lil Zoey, it was pretty fun. I can tell she's going to be a handful just like her mama. I think the most interesting thing of all is seeing how motherhood has changed them, Ana is so mellow and Elle is so....I dunno, deep. The Elle I've known since.....sixth or seventh grade talked about boys and boys and boys, New Elle talks about politics, society....and current events, passionately. It's pretty awesome.
As for myself....well, I'm going through more subtle changes. It took me three years but I guess I finally figured out that things don't always happen the way you want them to or when you want them to. You can't always get what you want......unless you really want it. Unfortunately I'm stubborn to a fault. Someone put up road blocks on the beaten path so I guess I'll have to make my own......we'll see how it goes.
Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears, put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
We're the therapists pumping through your speakers
Delivering just what you need
We're well read and poised
We're the best boys
We're the chemists who've found the formula
To make your heart swell and burst
No matter what they say, don't believe a word
Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it
I'll keep singing this lie
I'll keep singing this lie
Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears, put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
We're traveled like gypsies
Only with worse luck and far less gold
We're the kids you used to love
But then we grew old
We're the lifers here till the bitter end
Condemned from the start
Ashamed of the way
The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts
Cause I'll keep singing this lie
I'll keep singing this lie
Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
take our tears, put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
There's a drug in the thermostat to warm the room up
And there's another around to help us bend your trust
I've got a sunset in my veins
And I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay
The best part of "Believe" is the "Lie",
I hope you sing along and you steal a line
I need to keep you like this in my mind
So give in or just give up
[x2]
Are we growing up or just going down?
Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out
Take our tears, put them on ice
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light
| | |
| It's kinda hard to describe my current state of being, work keeps me tired and frustrated and even though I've managed to scrounge up a little pocket change I don't have any time to spend it. I haven't even seen Elle's baby yet, I thought I could catch on with Charlotte on one of her Sunday trips to Wharton but I've worked every Sunday since she was born so....guess I better come up with a different plan.Elle and I are talking about a trip to Vegas sometime in the near future, I'd like to believe that for once we're actually going to go thru with one of our hair-brainned schemes....and it's not completely off the wall, I get a week paid vacation around late November early December (If I still have a job then - knock on wood). And Ana's due next month....good Lord. It's definately an interesting time to be alive...well at least in my weird little world it is.
Hmmm.....lost my train of thought, must be my brains way of telling me it's time to head to bed. Unfortunately we're not used to keeping late hours on weeknights, so....a lullaby befitting the times:
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But we never stood a chance
And I'm not sure if it matters
If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons
I’m mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town
(your secret's out)
I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But it must be said again that all us boys are just screaming
Into microphones for attention
Because we're just so bored
We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh
I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts
(your secret's out)
I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't matter
I used to obsess over living,
Now I only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like boys like me better
In the dark lying on top of you
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters [x4]
I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)
Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over you don't, don't, don't, don't matter
[Talking:]
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left
| | |
| It is officially the year of the baby, next up in the delivery room Mel. Damn, she is married though, not that that matters nowadays but at least I can wrap my head around that one. Elle is a new mother, Zoey is a couple of weeks old now.....wow, and Ana's on deck. Wonder who the baby bug will bite next?
Anywho, I'm killing time chilling, not much to do in the country, especially when you're broke and most of your friends are giving birth. So I got a job at a store, unfortunately it's been about three years since I did the whole store thing so I kinda fainted my first day on the job. That really sucked, I like to make a good first impression, not sure how fainting fits in with that. I'm not that weak.....I don't know what's wrong with me.
What else? Life is....interesting, I keep getting this feeling like something crazy...big is about to happen....So, looking forward to tomorrow 
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!
That is one corny ass song, oh well | | |
| Life is....wierd. I'm done with school for the semester and whadya know, it was pretty awesome. Got a B- in spanish, way better than I expected, an A- in American lit also way better than I expected and an I don't know what in American fiction but it can't be that bad.....I did actually put some effort into that one. Anyways, life is weird. I was sitting in my empty dorm last Thursday skimming my notes in silence before my American fiction exam when my phone started ringing which shocked the hell out of me because it was pretty early in the morn and my friends know better than to expect decent conversation before noon....unless it's life or death. Well surprise it was Ana, and I kinda figured somethin was up cuz she didn't sound like herself. I wanted to ask what was wrong but I didn't want to be wrong, and I especially didn't want it to be what I was thinking it was. Thankfully it wasn't, but....Ana is preggers, due in July. I was and still am shocked, there's a serious baby bug going around or something. Elle was supposed to be due the last week of April but it's the third week of May and little Zoey hasn't arrived yet. It will be crazy when she does....it will be real when she does. Everything's changing again. Mel's married, Ana and Elle are about to be mother's, and I'm.....still dreaming, dreaming dreams that have nothing to do with marriage or babies. Hmmm.....wonder what's going to happen next?
Hope it's not what I think it is.
"Steady, As She Goes"
Find yourself a girl, and settle down
Live a simple life in a quiet town
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
So steady as she goes
Your friends have shown a kink in the single life
You've had too much to think, now you need a wife
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend, that knows you well
But no matter what you do, you'll always feel as though you tripped and fell
So steady as she goes
When you have completed what you thought you had to do
And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue
Then you'll get along
Then you'll get along
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend that knows you well
But no matter what you do, it always feels as though you tripped and fell
So steady as she goes
Steady as she goes
Settle for a girl and buckle down
Send it to the crowd that's gathered round
Settle for a girl and buckle down
Send it to the crowd that's gathered round
So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes
Are you steady now?
Steady as she goes
Are you steady now?
Steady as she goes
Are you steady now?
Steady as she goes
Are you steady now?
Steady as she goes
| | |
| You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
Think I'd leave you down
When you're down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong
Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh
And if only you could see into me
Ohh, when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
When you're on the outside
Baby, and you can't get in
I would show you
You're so much better than you know
When you're lost, you're alone
Can't get back again
I will find you
Darlin' and I'll bring you home
And if you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes (ooh)
You know time
You'll be fine
You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
Think I'd leave you down
When you're down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong
Ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh
And if only you could see into me
Ohh, when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me (to me, yeah)
Ohh, when you're alone
I'll be there
By your side, baby
Ohh, when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me (to me, yeah)
Ohh, when you're alone
I'll be there
By your side, baby
can't get any more mellow than Sade 
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